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Blog 41: A decade in reflection..

WHEW! these 10 years crammed a lot in! Anyone else excited about thinking about moving into a new decade? 2020 is upon us and many of us are trying to set some goals and cast a vision for the next year…which is awesome!

I also suggest we place some intention on our next decade we are moving into. The ability to think forward in larger quantities of time is a powerful thing. To do that, I also want to reflect on just how much has transformed in my life in the last 10 years. Where were you 10 years ago? If you are like me, so much is radically different and also there are some things that stay constant or have subtle shifts.

Here are some of my top reflections; experiences and gifts/lessons I am reflecting on tracing back from 2010 until present.

  1. Entrepreneurship – In 2010, I opened my doors to my first practice. 10 years ago now! When I think about the courage, will-power, and stubborn-ness (as well as willing to be mentored) that it took to lift this new practice off the ground I am humbled by the work it took (and continues to take). I have learned volumes from my patients and witnessing their experiences, my team and doing my best to lead and put the mission of the practice in the fore-front and the sheer learning curve of being an entrepreneur. This could encompass a 1000 lessons or more.

  2. Learning to do things differently. It was early in this past decade, that I had to take a strong look at some of my habits, characteristics and lifestyle choices and see that they either were not sustainable, not going to get me to where I saw my future, or lead to self-sabotaging behavior that kept me safe in some ways because I didn’t have to change. Learning to bite my tongue. Learning to not have to be a party animal or center of attention (at a party) required me to realize I can be, act, and change when I want to. I don’t have to live out old labels I had placed on myself. It didn’t make any of this wrong, it just added to more depth of who I am. You can re-invent yourself when you choose to.

  3. Marriage! What a learning curve to live with someone else and make your lives work together. Kyle is the yang to my yin and the yin to my yang. We seem to play devils-advocate with each other and yet I have learned he grounds me. He brings other sides of the picture into my world and has taught me to slow down. His even-keeled-ness (Most of the time) brings consistency to my at times speed-racing energy. Marriage has not been easy but the learning curve has been worth it. Energy, effort, and vision are required here as much as anywhere else.

  4. Learning to look at abundance as energy exchange. I love that in my learning curve of entrepreneurship I have been exposed to teachings of many masters on abundance and looking at money in more of a format of energy exchange and bringing value and substance into this world. By learning how to be a better steward of money, abundance and things I wish to experience in my life…I have learned how to let it flow into my experience differently and to not look at it as finite. I have immense gratitude for this understanding.

  5. Innate philosophy and living. This decade has brought me some radical world changing mentors and experiences that have shown me to see the world from this inside-out perspective. Life is not happening TO us…its happening THRU us. Or another way of seeing it, see everyone and everything as connected and a mirror to you. You don’t like something you are experiencing, look within find where you are disconnected inside. This has brought much self-awareness and strength into my life. I have also attracted a tribe of people I spend my day-to-day with who also understand and live this way. More love, less fear.

    If you would have told me in 2009, that in this next decade. I would birth my baby boy at home, encapsulate my placenta (basically make it into vitamins) and nurse him for 4 years I would have said you are crazy. (I wanted to add that in for shock effect for some of you, for some its ‘old hat’)

    I now look at sunshine, nature, peace, yoga, clean food, rest, meditation, and a balanced nervous system and body as our best healthcare. I do the best I can, to trust the messages that come to me about my body and life. I know our systems are so highly intelligent and tapped into our natural world that its sort of ridiculous to think we could ever fully know the full capabilities of our Innate inner wisdom.

  6. JOY. JACK. I think the first times I laid eyes on him (on the bathroom floor with the midwife and Kyle and saw that he was a “BOY” – is etched into my mind forever. IT was like he was looking at me and frowning saying, “Mom what took you so long?” and the snuggles that have been part of my days now since. I know that won’t last forever but the joy of snuggling your babe ….the best! I love witnessing life through his eyes and his experiences and the zest he brings.

  7. Grief. Prior to watching my mom struggle so much this past decade I had never personally experienced deep grief, loss, and sadness. It has broke a part of me open that I don’t know how to let out at times. I miss “her” in the format I knew previously…. immensely and have experienced anger, disbelief, and so much frustration also in realizing I can’t “fix” her. Learning the tough lesson of what we really control – ourselves. This also lead me into a new birth for myself where I see I am no longer needing to be the child (most of the time).

  8. Acceptance. A earning curve seeing that my way isn’t the only way. From marriage, to flailing around some in my role as step-mom, to business and working with others. To my parents and not knowing how to help. Acceptance has been a lesson I am continually learning this past decade. For an Aries woman this lesson has come with some scapes, bruised ego, and pouting but I am much more capable of this now than 10 years ago and for that my system experiences much more peace.

  9. Leadership. From writing a book that helped open up channels of mentoring and speaking in my professional life. To leading my team in my practices and stepping into leadership on a state-wide level professionally. There has been a lot of growth in learning how to lead with authenticity, vulnerability, and also sheer willingness to help pave the way to new ideas, bigger dreams, and inspiring others to join me. I have had to learn that I still want to be liked, sometimes more than I want to lead. That there are glamorous parts of leadership and yet more guttural, behinds the scenes moments of needing quiet strength and willingness to do the thing thats hard to do. The imperfections here burn more because more people witness but also lead to great growth.

  10. Mystery. So much has unfolded in 10 years that I am so grateful for, even the hard times have opened up beautiful opportunities, new friendships, new business partners, and new ideas. I realize the day-to-day can feel familiar but to keep a healthy regard for the mystery that lays ahead and trust the process and Wisdom which will unfold it. xo!

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